I can’t remember a time in the last 4.5 years when I didn’t wake up and go to sleep with prayers for a miracle. I prayed for all signs of brain cancer and tumors to disappear and for complete and total healing for my husband. We didn’t get the miracle we prayed for this time (at least not the way we prayed for it to come)… but I do still believe in miracles.
This may seem kind of obvious but from creation to revelation the Bible is full of miracles. The Red Sea parting; Noah’s family surviving the flood; Jesus walking on water; and people being healed are only a few of thousands of miracles chronicled within the pages of scripture. And I believe that the Bible is true. If it wasn’t true we wouldn’t read it, trust it, and continue to pray, right?
I often hear people say that miracles were reserved for Bible times. They acknowledge that God still listens to our prayers, but that doesn’t mean that He is going to do something miraculous for us. I disagree. I prayed, cried, and struggled to find meaning during some of the most difficult days of my life, but I didn’t feel like God left me alone in that place. He sent people to surround me, to comfort me, and to give me both hope and joy.
Before Ben’s first fight with brain cancer, we prayed for years for God to grant us our request for children and even after the doctors told us it was highly unlikely, those prayers were answered. Ben taught me to never give up praying and believing, no matter how impossible a dream seemed.
Ben and I saw so many of them in our life together: carrying twins after a miscarriage, surviving brain surgery not just once but twice, my surviving Kinsey’s birth, him living 4.5 years when they told him he would only have 1-2 years max. We didn’t get the last miracle we prayed for, the one we longed for every day for over 4.5 years, but yes, I do still believe in miracles. Every day with Ben was a gift, a miracle in and of itself. And I continue to be reminded every day of the miracle that his life was.
I believe God listens when I pray, I believe He answers with exactly what we need, even if it isn’t exactly what we want. I’m still sad that we didn’t get this miracle the way that we prayed for it, but it does not make me doubt the way that God can move in the future. I still pray for miracles every day for my friends fighting cancer, infertility, chronic health issues, custody battles and struggles in their relationships and marriages.
And now, in the aftermath of loss, I try to look for the miracles in the everyday life around me. Every moment with my children, the sun and rainbow shining through after the storm, and every text that I get out of the blue that shows people love and care about us. God moves in every little thing, you just have to open your eyes to see it.
Staying Faithful Through the Unexpected
A journey with our family through multiple sclerosis and muscular dystrophy. As well as a look into our struggles and faith!
Being still for Caitlin Grace
The Joy of the Lord is our Strength
Finding Beauty in the Everyday.
Chasing Christ in the Chaos
Learning to Embrace the Storms of Life