It’s been a while since I shared my thoughts on this blog… for many reasons… It’s been a season of learning and growing and as I reflect on the last two years I have so much to share. I’ll start with this, two months ago I remarried, an amazing man of God who I thank God for every single day and I can say this:
Loving a widow is not for the faint of heart. It’s not a fairytale romance wrapped in easy beginnings or untangled emotions. This is a journey that requires a lot of patience and humility. It requires a willingness to walk into a life that began long before you arrived. For a man to choose a widow with three children is to choose a story already in progress—one that includes loss, deep love, grief, and resilience.
It’s stepping into memories that don’t belong to you but still matter deeply to the person you love.
It’s hard. And I believe it’s holy.
As a woman who has walked the road of grief and carries both the weight of what was and the hope of what could be, I can say that a man who dares to love a widow must be brave. Brave enough to sit with pain he didn’t cause. Secure enough to not be threatened by a name still spoken with affection. Strong enough to step into fatherhood not from the start, but from the middle.
He must be a man who embodies the truth of 1 Corinthians 13—love that is patient and kind, not envious or boastful. Love that “does not dishonor others,” including the memory of a man who once held the space he now occupies. That’s a hard calling, but it’s a sacred one.
A man who can love in that way—who chooses to see beauty in brokenness and promise in second chances—is rare and worth holding onto with both hands. He is evidence that God can restore what was lost, and that love can rise from the ashes, not to replace the past, but to build upon it.
In Isaiah 43:19, God says, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” That “new thing” doesn’t erase what came before—it grows from it. In loving a widow and her children, a man becomes part of that redemptive work. He steps into the story not as a replacement, but as a continuation of God’s grace and provision.
Psalm 68:5 reminds us that God is “a father to the fatherless and a defender of widows.” A man willing to live that out—to love children who aren’t biologically his, and to care for a woman who has known the depths of grief—is walking in the very heart of God.
This is not easy. It is never simple. But it’s sacred.
To the man who takes on this calling: thank you. Thank you for seeing value in a woman who has walked through the fire. Thank you for embracing children who carry another man’s name and legacy. Thank you for choosing love that costs something.
And to the woman—like me—who is blessed to be loved in such a way: hold him tight. Love him well. Honor both the past you knew and the future you are building together. For in this unique and often challenging love story, God is writing something beautiful, redemptive, and deeply good.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” – 1 Corinthians 13:7-8
May that be the kind of love we give, receive, and fiercely protect.
Two months ago, I was blessed enough to marry that kind of man. The one who opened his heart to me, my kids, and to Ben’s family who we still fiercely love. Thank you, dear Max, for being willing to become like a father to the fatherless, while still allowing space for their beloved father. And for showing them the way a father loves through the way you love and care for your own children. And thank you for sending me cheesecake on Ben and my anniversary to celebrate the love that came before you. You will never know how much your embracing all of us means. You truly have been so much more than we could have asked for or imagined.
I can imagine that loving someone who has been divorced or a single mom who has never married would carry some of the same feelings and emotions, but that’s not my story and I can’t speak to it. I can speak to this though, loving a widow and her kids is holy work and God will honor it! 
