Have you ever been asked a question and after answering thought about all the things you should have said differently? I have. I’m notorious for sleepless nights spent overthinking every comment I have made and wondering if I said the right thing.
Last summer a sweet boy questioned me about my roots. He was curious where he had come from and whether he would grow up a certain way based on his heritage. I remember answering that we each have a choice about the type of person we are going to grow up to be, and regardless of where we come from, we have the choice to be and do something different.
The other day someone posed a question about relationships to me. They asked if I know the divorce statistics for second marriages. My immediate response was that I’ve never had a failed marriage (my apologies in advance if this offends you; but the loss of a relationship by death is different than divorce and I do not believe the two should be automatically grouped together).
I didn’t get a chance to explain myself at the time; but if I had, I’d like to believe the response would have been something like this…
You are not a statistic and neither am I. Regardless of what the world tells us the outcome will be, we have a choice in the outcome of our destiny. And we serve a God who can redeem any situation! If we refuse to give in to defeat, we will not be defeated.
If you go into anything knowing that it may not turn out the way you are wanting, you are opening yourself up to the possibility of a different outcome than the one you desire. Refuse to accept the possibility of defeat. Refuse to allow yourself to see it as an option.
Some of the best marriages I have seen have been second marriages. Marriages between two people who due to death or divorce have learned that life and relationships are much harder than they originally believed. They have gone into a second marriage with eyes wide open and knowing all the odds against them. They have been successful because despite the odds, they refuse to see failure as an option.
Friend, if you have lost someone you loved through death or divorce, you are not a statistic. You don’t have to fear opening yourself up to that again because the odds of repeating the past are higher than the odds of success. You are the author of your own destiny. Embrace life and keep loving… know that God can and will redeem this if you will let Him lead and guide you!
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit,” Romans 15:13 (NIV)