I can’t believe it has been four years since I last held your hand… 4 long years since I last kissed you and told you that I would love you forever… 4 years since our babies got to see your smile and laughing face in person…
I don’t like to think about that day because I immediately remember sitting alone in the waiting room outside the ICU hearing the doctors and nurses and machines… and trying to drown out the sounds with worship music and praying for the doctors to come and tell me you were fine…
Thinking about that morning starts the tears that just won’t stop.
That one painful moment in time… the culmination of eleven beautiful years together. That one moment brought so much brokenness for me, but healing and wholeness for you…
Your mom shared this song with us today… and the words spell out so beautifully how I feel today…
“I know the road you walked was anything but easy,
You picked up your share of scars along the way
Oh, but now you’re standing in the sun, you’ve fought your fight and your race is run
The pain is all a million miles away.
The only scars in heaven, they won’t belong to me and you
There’ll be no such thing as broken and all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in heaven are on the hands that hold you now.
There’s not a day goes by that I don’t see you
You live on in all the better parts of me
Until I’m standing with you in the sun, I’ll fight this fight and this race I’ll run
Until I finally see what you can see…”
Four years have gone by so painfully fast and slow at the same time. We love and miss you just as much today as we did four years ago and look forward to the day when we are able to once again see your face. I wish you were here to see our sweet babies growing up… but I am thankful for the joy that we have every time we remember you. Love you… mean it!