I often find myself thinking about the future and what I hope it will look like. Peace about where I am, who I am surrounded by, and that my children will grow up to be exactly what God has for them! I long for strong relationships with other people and the ability to ground my children in the Word. And I hope that I make the right choices…
But I have learned over the years that hope makes one vulnerable. When we open ourselves up to dream big dreams and hope for the future, we do so knowing that we may not get the outcome that we are longing for.
Hope can literally be terrifying. It can weigh us down like a burden and feel like it is setting us up for a big fall.
Sometimes I find myself fighting the desire to not hope for anything, because if I do not put my hope in these earthly things, then I do not have worry about the brunt of disappointment if my hopes are dashed.
When Ben and I were struggling to start our family, I can remember the hopes that were dashed month after month. As many of my friends who have dealt with infertility know, it is hard to keep hoping in something that leaves you vulnerable to pain when it does not come to fruition.
After a particularly hard couple of months, I remember feeling hopeless and telling Ben I no longer wanted to hope… that maybe it was time for us to grow our family a different way…
I hated being vulnerable and continuing to hope for something that was I was not getting on my terms. Ben was used to dreaming big dreams and trusting God for the future. It was something those multiple deployments had trained him to do, and something that I still struggle with.
1 Peter 5:10 says, “And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”
Ben’s faith and hope was strong enough for both of us in that season, and I am incredibly thankful that our hopes became a reality that was even better than I could have imagined.
But I still long to be someone who hopes without holding back, and who trusts without trepidation. And I pray continually that God will allow me to show my children the importance of putting our hope in the things that we cannot see, and in a God who is good even when we are not.
Romans 8:24-25 says, “For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”
What about you? Do you live a life filled with hope in the things you do not see? Are you finding yourself waiting impatiently for them to come to fruition like I did for so many years?